


A Mixed Bag of Nuts

by steampunkcircus



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Background blupjeans - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Terrible name suggestions, The Reaper Squad, background taakitz, taaco twins being chaotic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26993749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steampunkcircus/pseuds/steampunkcircus
Summary: Taako and Kravitz get a new cat. They can't decide on her name, so Lup and Barry are invited to weigh in.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38





	A Mixed Bag of Nuts

"Cool Barry."

Barry didn't bother to sigh. He did, however, pick up his book from the coffee table and drop out of the conversation.

Lup did sigh at her brother's suggestion. "You're not naming your new fleabag 'Cool Barry' as if my husband isn't the coolest guy I know."

"There's no accounting for taste," Taako said, sticking his tongue out at her and crossing the name off his list.

"What about Her Lady Darkness of Eternal Suffering?" Kravitz asked, looking up from his own list.

"Babe. Babe, _no_ ," Taako said, shaking his head. "Look at her. Absolutely not."

Kravitz looked around. "Where is our sweet little Belladonna of the Night?"

"Also no," Taako said. He leaned over the arm of the couch to check some common kitty hiding spots. "She's probably just settling in, finding her favorite sunny windows. Whatever."

"C'mon, Taako, give me a couple more. Rapid-fire, hit me," Lup said, waving him on.

"Alright, alright. Let's start with... Angus."

"No."

"Dad'n'port."

"He would feel simultaneously so honored and so angry. No."

"Are you sure on Cool Ba-"

"Absolutely sure. Next."

"Lup But Never Lived In An Umbrella."

The twins' screeching started to sound genuinely angry. Barry glanced up from his book. He flinched slightly when Lup stole Taako’s pen and threw it in back at him, but relaxed when it missed by half a foot. He chuckled when he saw Kravitz eyeing the Fantasy Fire Extinguisher in the next room. Barry was more than familiar with the types and tones of the twins' fights. This one wasn't as bad as it looked. Kravitz would learn soon, too.

Barry was about to settle back into his book when movement on the edge of his vision caught his attention. A small grey cat was staring at him from the doorway to the sunroom. He smiled and slid down the couch towards her.

"Hi there," he cooed. "How are you liking it here?"

As if in answer, she glanced at the twins, who were now cuddled on the couch. They shoved Kravitz with their legs into a smaller and smaller section of cushion. They were still screaming at each other.

"Oh, yeah, they _do_ get kinda loud." He chuckled. "You'll get used to it, I promise."

She gave a quiet, crackly mew. Barry held out a hand and she trotted over to nuzzle into his palm.

"Yeah, you'll do just fine," he said, scratching down her back. "You seem like you enjoy attention. That's a common trait around here. We'll all spoil you rotten in no time."

Lup fell off the couch with a thump. The cat twitched at the sudden noise. She evaluated Barry for a moment, then sought refuge between his thigh and the arm of the couch. Barry adjusted a little so he could read and pet her at the same time.

"Now, don't you tell the twins," he whispered, "but we spoil them rotten, too. The other crew members and Krav and me. But they'll never admit it. ‘Cause then we might stop spoiling them. Just like I'm sure you won't admit it when it happens to you."

Barry and the cat settled in together while the twins fought on. Every now and then, Kravitz would call his name, trying to get him to intercede. Barry barely pretended to "help," not looking up from his book for any interruption. He would call out for one or the other twin to stop whatever behavior was distressing Kravitz. Hair pulling, outfit criticizing, someone calling the other “sour little Lulu Lemon,” someone singeing the other's hat brim - the usual Taaco Twin Stuff.

"He's just as dramatic as the two of them," Barry said to the cat. She had been purring for a few minutes. Between that and his book’s plot picking up steam, he was starting to see the appeal of animal companions.

“Barold? Babe?”

Barry hummed in question while turning the page.

“Who you talkin’ to?”

“Oh, just lil Peanut.” He gave the cat an extra scritch behind the ear.

A hand yanked the book from his grasp. Barry made a distressed noise and reached for it, looking up to see who had interrupted him.

“Barry J?” Taako looked down his nose with a stony expression. “What did you just call my precious Mew-hann?”

Barry held out his hand for his book. Taako held it farther away.

“Is that what you guys settled on? ‘Mew-hann’? Cause- cause if that’s some kind of pun or goof on Johann’s name- It sounds more like a bad Fantasy Jedi name a kid invented for himself for a friend’s Kittens and Fantasy Star Wars themed birthday party, bud.”

“That’s basically what I said!” Lup said, bouncing across the room and taking the book from Taako as she did. “Or, I said it sounded like a Fantasy Star Trek species name.” She stretched out on the couch Barry was on, wiggling her fuzzy sock-clad toes under his leg and thumbing through his book instead of handing it back. “But I gotta say, I kinda like the sound of Peanut for the little fuzzball.”

“I can’t _believe_ you,” Taako said. “Here, no, listen, she doesn’t like it either. Look.” He turned to face the cat. “Look at papa, Peanut!”

She did that.

Taako spluttered. Lup cackled.

“That- that was a- That doesn’t mean anything!” Taako said. “Lup, you call her. Use a different name, but use the- the- y’know, cat baby talk voice I used.”

Lup sat up to get a better view of the cat on the other side of Barry. “Hello, Ebony Sacrifice!”

The cat yawned.

“That means _nothing_!” Taako insisted. “My cat will not have a- that’s not a _good enough_ name! We’re not calling her that!”

“Peanut! Come to Kravitz.”

The cat stretched and hopped off the couch Barry and Lup occupied. The room was silent as she crossed to Kravitz’s couch, rubbed up against his shins, hopped up next to him, and curled into a little kitty loaf.

“Huh,” Barry said.

“I hate you,” Taako said.

“The name’s kind of growing on me,” Lup said.

Kravitz sighed. “I was really hoping that Queen Vampiria, Destroyer of Realms and Hearts would be the one” He crossed off the last entry on his name suggestion list.

**Author's Note:**

> Barry “Are you afraid?” Bluejeans: The twins and Kravitz are so dramatic.
> 
> Hi! Thank you for reading this thing that showed up in my brain! I'm on [tumblr](https://the-badass-journal-keeper.tumblr.com/) if you want to see more stuff. Mostly reblogs right now, but I'm working on some writing. You can say "hi" to me over there if you want. I'm still kinda new to taz, and I love screaming about it with people!


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